Whenever I clean my apartment, I make grand plans to implement procedures so that all that is required is maintenance.

Like most people, the grand plans rarely fall into place as naturally as the initial outburst. But I have learned, over the years, to make certain simple things a habit. If I can’t fully put into practice my greatest plans, I have at least managed to make each cleaning exercise less dramatic than the last.

In KL, the opposite appears to be case. It’s not even just in KL. Many more people took to the streets of KL than last year, and the same was seen across the world. Those scenes of Global Bersih will always be with me. In many cases, the numbers were impressive. Personally, I love the images that show a handful.

From me, here in KL, thank you.

For those in the shallow corridors of power, get out of your self-absorbed shells and wake up to the fact that this is bigger than you. It’s not about you, or about the people across the floor from you. We keep telling you that, but you people refuse to listen.

We are for Malaysia.

If so many people have something to say, instead of denying that you hear their calls, why not try listening? And when you listen, don’t immediately jump to how to counter an argument, just listen.

What are people really saying? Is what we are asking for such a terrible thing?



February 14, 2012

This NFC crap is still going on? Really?

Come on, lah! You know who should have stepped down months ago. Not because of conspiracy theories or public opinion or anything like that. Just because it would have been the right thing to do. If you look at UK politics (and we do think we’re going to be a developed nation in a handful of years, so the comparison is valid) – MPs have stepped down for more minor reasons than what we are seeing.

And you know what, fence sitters like myself would have taken certain people more seriously if that step had been taken.

As for the imminent general elections. Oh grow up! Who says the country will collapse if there is a new government? And who says the country will be saved if Pakatan takes over? Politicians are politicians and politics is what it is. Those who believe that getting rid of one coalition will save the day are as guilty of abandoning the country as those they accuse of doing the same thing.

Checks and balances are not the exclusive territory or sole responsibility of those in parliament. Real checks and balance comes from civil society.

Since we’re aiming for developed nation status, let’s try to think like one. Let’s begin by looking at the UK, the US, Australia and New Zealand. All these countries have been through different governments, yet the countries still run. Yes, you might say that they have a civil service who realise their duty is to the government of the day, not a political party. But how do you know our civil service will not perform their duties? Besides, that is not in our hands. We won’t know until the day comes.

And since I mentioned political parties, why does the BN campaign as the government? Surely they should be campaigning as political parties, for during the campaign period they are not the government. This, of course, leads me to point out my extreme annoyance at the fact that my tax dollars are used for political campaigns.

We Malaysians are so used to a manner of election campaigns that we don’t even think to ask these most basic questions.

But this is not to let other parties off the hook. Yes Pakatan Rakyat, that means you.

I don’t know about others, but I’m sick and tired of petty posturing and politicking. I want to see serious discussion of issues. When the time comes for me to make my mark on the ballot papers, I want to be challenged – I want to be made to consider the candidates who are members of a party that truly addresses the many obstacles that we face as a nation.

I don’t care which side of the political divide the MPs come from, as long as the quality of debate is something worth paying attention to.


At least 13 products have been removed from the shelves. The crime? “Mislabelling” – ie, the labels are full of bullshit. There would have been no crime if these products had simply been labeled accurately. But no, there was some bluffing involved – this is an offence under the Food Act 1983 and Food Regulations 1985.

We have some really good laws in Malaysia – no using handphones while driving; wearing seatbelts in a car, the requirement to label products accurately. Where we are lacking is always in the enforcement of these laws. That’s why it’s all the more important that anything that is a government initiative should be held strictly to the law.

Will the KR1M suppliers be charged? Nope. They merely have to undergo the inconvenience of relabelling the products accurately.


How about this? When I bought a new car just over two years ago, I never once saw the money from the bank loan I got. The bank sent the money to the car flers – there is no way I could have used that money to go on holiday or anything like that. The bank made sure the car flers got the money. And when did that money get to the car flers? Not till after I had satisfied the bank with all the necessary documentation – I signed all kinds of things. Even after that, I didn’t see my new car for another 3 weeks, and that’s pretty good – most people have to wait much longer.

I make my monthly repayments diligently, and until I finish, the bank owns my car. Considering the rate of interest, I am pretty lucky to be paying less than 7%.

This is a personal loan – if I default, the bank takes the car, I get in shit.


So I scratch my head at my own stupidity. I should have got a government loan. I could have got one of my siblings to apply for a loan to set up a business we know nothing about – raising sheep or something, some type of animal unsuited to our climate anyway. Then we would have got the money 2 years before we agreed to any requirements for repayment of the loan – at something like 2% interest over a period of forever. My siblings could all become directors in the company, earning a monthly salary which overshadows what most people earn in a year. Then, instead of raising sheep, they could have sent me on holiday and bought me a car.

The business would naturally not make any profit, it would instead make huge losses. But my siblings would still earn their monthly salaries. Awesome, right? We could even buy a couple of fancy tents to put up in the garden and charge the neighbourhood kids to play in them, and call it an investment. We can invest in anything, as long as it has nothing to do with the business we got the loan for.

One of the perks is that the loan comes from taxpayers’ money, so if we default, no worries, we’re not in shit. If people ask me how I got my new car and get all shitty, I can just say, “Nothing to do with me, lah. You all just want to hantam my cousins because you takut of them.”- They might ask what my cousins had to do with anything, but that’s not my problem.

The cops might investigate, but before the investigation is complete one the coppers is bound to make a statement to say, “Nope, nothing dodgy here.”



Of Cowherds and Crooks

December 6, 2011

Fooyoh! Did you see/hear/read about that back door minister rolling up her sleeve in response to criticism of luxury accommodation arrangements for bovines? Ya lah, I know you did – who didn’t! She damn terror, and more than a little bodoh. It was bad enough to begin with, but the “spirited defense” that dragged all her kaki into the melee with her… Put it this way, for the first time in my life, I actually felt sorry for Wanita UMNO.



Then somemore, according to those global see through flers, Transparency International, Malaysia’s Corruption PERCEPTION Index dropped again – we’re getting very consistent. You know what this means, right? Easier to kautim one.

Not to worry, nehmain, we are fine. Because why? Because:

Datuk Seri Ahmad Husni Hanadzla: “It is subjective… Measuring is based on perception..”


That’s right. We only APPEAR corrupt, it’s just that there are simply a lot of people out there who THINK we’re corrupt – and that’s no big deal. Then we get the usual baffling “explanation” that we have become accustomed to in Malaysia:

“When you do comparisons based on interviewing different sets of people, it’s questionable,” (Datuk Seri Ahmad Husni Hanadzlah).

Let me try to work this out – so when you do comparisons based on interviewing a single set of people, then it’s perfectly legitimate. But if you interview a broad section of people with presumably varying perceptions then… cannot, is it?

But wait, there’s more! Check out @etp_roadmap on Twitter – they are joining the fight against corruption, got hashtag all – #fightcorruption – hebat, man! Unfortunately, it’s the usual empty bollocks cliche: “when the giving stops, the taking stops.” – Seriously?


Look, as a tax paying member of the rakyat, let me just say that the little fler who gives an underpaid cop RM30 to let him off for whatever concerns me less than the bastards who stole the money I contribute in tax meant for this country. I do not condone bribing a policeman, but to me, when I think of the term “corruption”, I am not picturing a private citizen and a police officer making poor judgements and breaking the law (with private funds). I think of the millions and billions that have been contributed by the citizens of Malaysia that have been wasted in the most obscene ways – want some examples, just read the AG’s report.



So, yes, PERCEPTION does matter. It matters very much. And of course it’s subjective, because we see it with our very own eyes. The issue of corruption, the practice and the perception, is very serious.

How serious?

It doesn’t get more serious than when so many people think that this guy has said something worthwhile:







Rights vs Might

November 28, 2011

Read the Malaysian Constitution – if you can’t be arsed, just read Article 10. Then read the Peaceful Assembly Bill 2011 – don’t forget all the proposed amendments because such a well thought out bill has needed a number of tweaks. Ya ya, these “revolutionary” types of things are usually put together with minimal consultation with relevant bodies – you know lah.

Make sure you have a dictionary handy.

Keropok and Kopi is also a good idea.



Pissing contests

November 15, 2011

That’s pretty much what the Dewan Rakyat is for, it seems.

In the meantime, while no one was looking, we became a mature democracy because “dissent is allowed”. Wow! So magnanimous one – “We will allow you to disagree with us.” But you will not allow Seksualiti Merdeka, izzit? Why? Because it’s not dissent? It’s just a simple series of events that harms no one. Yeh, we’re a really mature democracy.




November 5, 2011


Had me a Eureka moment whilst sitting on the loo reading the New Straits Times. – Haiya! Don’t be like that, lah. When you gotta go, you gotta go. And when I gotta go, I gotta read. And reading crap while taking a crap is ok, wat… It’s not like I bought the thing, it was just there. Times are hard, people steal copies of the NST from government departments to put in their loos for toilet paper. In my defense, the shampoo bottle was too far away to reach from my perch on the throne so I grabbed the closest thing to read.

I plonked my way across to this gem on p.5, with the headline “Police summon festival organisers”. I didn’t realise Seksualiti Merdeka was a festival, but ok. Apparently the police have summoned the organisers to record their statements. So, aside from being unaware of the festival, I also learned that Datuk Ambiga Sreenevasan is one of the organisers. Wow! That’s elevation. Until yesterday, she was simply speaking at the opening, now she’s been promoted to “organiser”. In the very next column below she gets to say “huh??”.

If I were loaded, I”d love to take out a full page coloured ad in the mainstream papers expressing heartfelt gratitude to Datuk Ambiga for agreeing to officiate a banned festival. After all, it’s the kind of thing we patriotic Malaysians love to do. We’ve all seen those things, you know the ones where someone spends obscene amounts of money thanking some VIP for flushing a newly installed toilet for the first time.

But I was distracted from this fantasy by a sudden sharp dose of reality. I’ve worked it out! We’re a nation of funny buggers. Everything is clear if you picture the people behind these statements as wannabe stand-up comedians. I’ve always been a bit slow, but I get it now.





“The police is (sic) right in their decision to ban the event as they have put the security of the country first.”

Yep, events made up of talks, forums, workshops, performances, etc. aimed at awareness, education and affirmation of sexuality rights as as a human right – dangerous shit, man.

Actually, I do give a damn!

November 4, 2011

With the recent ban on Seksualiti Merdeka we see, yet again, the Malaysian propensity to be selective in the “application” of human rights. Fighting for the rights of asylum seakers is ok, but not for some of our most marginalised citizens. People who complain about being treated like “second class citizens” suddenly think it’s ok to discriminate against others simply because of their sexuality.

The reactions to Seksualiti Merdeka and the ridiculously juvenile comments hurled against it and against individuals involved with it show just how important it is. The bollocks criticisms against LGBTQ Malaysians illustrate exactly why awareness is so important, why Seksualiti Merdeka is crucial for a better civil society. You know what, as I understand it, Seksualiti Merdeka has been an annual thing since 2008 – nothing bad happened last time, did it?

There are so many ridiculous arguments I don’t even know where to start.

The religious one? There are too many inconsistencies in religious doctrines to even begin to address this, but again followers tend to be selective in which they choose to follow. But why does it usually lean towards the more discriminatory choice? Why not the more accepting and loving verses in all the religious books?

Then there is the Malaysian obsession with sex. We still have laws against sodomy and oral sex, neither of which is exclusive to homosexuality – and you dirty buggers all know it! – But Seksualiti Merdeka is NOT about sex, it is about bloody rights. And to those who say, “I don’t care what 2 people do behind closed doors”, it’s not about SEX! I don’t give a shit what you do behind closed doors either, unless you’re torturing animals, but this isn’t about sex. Got it?

My personal favourite is the “choice” thing – “lifestyle choice”. Oh yes, I really like this one. Because it makes perfect sense for someone to “choose” to make their own lives as difficult as possible, to “choose” to be discriminated against, to “choose” to be the target of the most asinine insults and degrading treatment.You know what IS a lifestyle choice? Bigotry.


You dare to call LGBTQ members of our society immoral? You call them immoral, really?? If that is immoral, then what the hell do you call hounding and discriminating against an individual resulting in them losing their life?? What do you call treating someone like utter shit simply because you cannot see beyond who they sleep with, when that is the least of who they are?

It’s the 21st century, stop the fuckery and just grow up!




Dude… you tripping?

October 27, 2011



Headline in The Star today:

Human rights groups pose a threat, says ex-IGP

“Every century has its own wave and this could not be avoided. Previously, it was the wave of communism and Marxism, and now it is the human rights wave.” (Former Inspector-General of Police, Tan Sri Rahim Noor – Star Online)


This “human rights wave” is apparently a bad thing. That’s right, it’s bad, we don’t want it here in Malaysia – it just messes everything up. We’re not that kind of democracy.



Is nothing sacred anymore?

October 20, 2011

Just when you thought things couldn’t sink any lower, the sewer that is the Malaysian political arena manages, yet again, to exceed all expectations.

To target a child –  sickening and unforgivable.

Where are all the voices of the self-appointed moral guardians now? Where is the official condemnation?

The people behind this depraved fabrication – how do you sleep at night??


The father chose to enter politics, like it or not, that makes him fair game. To attack his child with baseless accusations, blatant lies, is loathsome. I would like to hope you are ashamed of yourselves, but if you had that ability, you wouldn’t have targeted the young boy in the first place.


I cannot fathom the type of character who can do such a thing. How can you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you look your children in the eye?



“Ayah buat apa di office hari ini?”

“Hi anak, oh, Ayah wrote something slanderous against a defenseless 16 year old boy. Ayah doesn’t like this boy’s daddy, you see, so ayah made up some bullshit story about the son. Clever right?”


Yeah, you’ll a real man all right. Proud of yourself, aren’t you?